OLD LADY OF THE TRAM?

Life is full of change, good and bad. How you cope with change defines you as a person. Losing my mother when she died (20/08/2015) and my son (29/10/1998), has been so difficult. With my son Evan, he was 22 and a troubled soul. It wasn’t supposed to happen; your children are meant to survive you. People say you get over it, that time heals but people who say things like that have not had their son die so young. I haven’t got over it and I remain unhealed, I have accepted it, I have learned to live with it. However, the wound is still raw, the pain is still real and I still shed tears for my lost boy.

Will I feel the same about my Mum? I don’t believe so. My Mum was aged 90, she has lived a long, fulfilling and interesting life and at the end she was ready to go. She was tired of life, her body was letting her down and she had started to lose her mind. I found it frightening how the medical profession and people in general treated her as if she was invisible. As a country we don’t treat our elderly very well.

This year I became 60, officially an old age pensioner. I have used a walking stick for several years as my oesteoarthritis gets worse. I was quite shocked the other day on the tram when a young mum checked her little girl with the words, “mind what you’re doing Melanie, don’t knock against that old lady, she has a stick so she can’t walk very well”. Yikes! In my head I feel about 29! It saddens me. I know we are all

Old Lady of the tram?
Old Lady of the tram?

older but no-one wants to be referred to as ‘an old lady’ do they?
Carolina de la Cruz – 08/11/2015.

ORPHAN?

Can you become an orphan as an adult? If you can well, it happened to me this year on the 20th of August when my beloved mum died. My dad died years before in 1980, but with the death of my mum, I am parent-less, therefore an orphan. I feel completely alone. I do have other family but losing my mum has been devastating and with the things that have been going on in my family like false accusations and betrayal I feel I have no one else to share it with. Thank goodness for my friends who are always there for me. My lovely best friend, Bev and I are going away for a few days to give me a change of scenery after the funeral and handing over all the paperwork to mum’s solicitors to sort out. The Solicitor told us it would take 3 to 4 months before they get to the stage of paying out so we are looking at December 2015 or January 2016 for finalisation.

I keep thinking about things to tell my mum, seeing programmes on TV that I think she will like. Although towards the end of her life she was definitely losing her mind she still had days of complete lucidity. She had a great deal of wisdom and intelligence gained in 90 years of life and now it’s all gone and I am now head of the family. What a poisoned chalice that is! I hope her spirit chooses to stay with me and help me make the right decisions. One thing, I am released from the promise I made not to leave OLDHAM whilst she was still living. So there world becomes my oyster again! The possibility of going to live in Spain again. Without parents has some advantages then, it would seem.

Chocolate – An Acrostic Poem

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Chocolate, so smooth, so creamy,

Has a taste that is exquisite!

Oh! As it melts in your mouth.

Chocolate will stir the release

Of endorphins in your brain.

Love, true love has the same effect.

Although I am unsure of which I prefer,

The wonderful taste of chocolate, or love?

Endorphins are the same, I choose chocolate!

©Carolina de la Cruz – The Vixen of Verse- 2015..

Is Copyright important to Poets and Writers?

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© that little c for copyright living inside the circle is very important to me and most other writers too. So please don’t steal my work! Yes, it has happened before, a cheeky American student stole one of my short stories, passed it off as his own and achieved an A+ from his tutor! Then he had the cheek to tell me about it and showed no remorse when I explained about copyright.

If you want to use all or an extract of my work send me an email, twitter request etc and just ASK! Depending on what your Project is and what you want to use my Work for, I am sure we can come to some Agreement! Always remember to attribute work in the way the poet or writer requests and all will be well. It is just common courtesy really but just like common sense not very common any more. Thank you.

Write on! Carolina xxx

TEN TO GO!

Ten poems to go before I reach the magic thirty. I also have nineteen days in which to complete them. I counted my three haiku’s as three separate poems which made The Passenger number twenty.

I wish I could remember where I got the prompt  for God’s Laughter from. If it was your website or blog please let me know and I will attribute it. Copyright is very important to me.

Write on! Carolina xxx

NaPoWriMo Finishes

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30th April 2015 arrives and marks the end of NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) unfortunately I didn’t finish the 30 poems in 30 days, I managed 15. Not a lot you might think but for me the purpose of NaPoWriMo was to start writing again. So I can claim some success. I also intend finishing the other 15 poems and have set a deadline of the end May, 2015. I am so pleased my muse has returned and I am writing again.

For me, life without writing is a half life. I felt like I had been robbed of my creativity. The reason I couldn’t write was because I was suffering from Depression. I have suffered with it from when I was a teenager. Recently I attended 7 counselling sessions where I was able to examine in detail what was going wrong in my life.I also gained insight into making some new coping strategies. I feel so much better now. Are you suffering from depression? Ask your GP to refer you for counselling also refered to as ‘talking therapy’.

©Carolina de la Cruz – The Vixen of Verse – 2015

I made a mistake in my Triolet!

Writer at Work!

Writer at Work!

After all the triolets I have written and all the ones I have produced in my many workshops I can hardly believe I could make such a glaring mistake.

What was the mistake? I repeated line 1 /rhyme a in line 3 instead of line 4! Is it fixable? Yes, of course with a little playing around and a bit of re-writing I have fixed it.

I am such a champion of the triolet which was originally a 13th centuary French poetic form. I think it is incredible that it is still alive and well in the 21st centuary.poetic form,

The Triolet Form
It has 8 lines, with an a/b rhyme scheme and 3 lines repeated.

1. A/a
2 B/b
3 a
4. A/a
5. a
6. b
7. A/a
8 B/b

CAT WOMAN

We called her ‘cat woman ‘ with nothing but love and affection.

Cats came from every part of the neighbourhood to receive their daily tid-bits.

Sometimes I thought her own cat was jealous, but he too enjoyed the company.

She gave all her visitors, names; my two she called ‘Blacknose’ and ‘Pirate’,

Even after she knew their real names, Riley and Rio.

I first got to know Barbara through a conversation with her daughter, visiting from Greece.

Also notes attached to Rio’s collar when she was worried about his ‘poorly paw’.

Then we exchanged phone numbers so I could report on Rio’s progress at the vet’s,

Barbara had a little stool so Rio could sit at her side and share her breakfast yoghurt.

He was always the first of her visitors, coming in through a window she opened for him.

He was always the final visitor at night, enticed out with a piece of ham

And strict instructions to go home to your mummy which he did,at 8.30 on the dot!

At Christmas my cats always received their presents.

Barbara duly despatched one of her daughters with something nice for me!

I used to call round for a chat, we became good friends.

As she proudly told me stories  I felt like I knew her family too.

Poor Rio misses his second mum and spends more time at home.

He follows Riley around like a little lost soul.

I believe that Barbara passed over to the Summerlands,

Where she can still watch over all her beloved cats.

Oh Barbara Cat Woman you are so sadly missed,

Yet you would chide us for our sentimentality.

So I ask God and Goddess to bless you and keep you safe.

May your memory live on in the hearts and minds of those that love you,

Human and feline both!

©Carolina de la Cruz – The Vixen of Verse – 2015

An Inspiring Afternoon with Cathy Crabbe

I had a wonderful and inspiring afternoon attending Cathy Crabbe’s poetry writing workshop. It was held in the Performance Space in Oldham’s central library & cost £5 or £3.50 if you were a library member. Great idea to give discounts for library members

This workshop was one of the Bookmark Festival 2015 which runs from 18 – 25 April. It culminates in a FREE event on Saturday evening @7 pm 25th April with spoken word by Lees Literati and music by the Cherry Hintons. No need to book, just turn up! Which is what I am going to do of course.

Back to the workshop, we spent approx half an hour looking at four exhibits in the gallery and making notes on sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, how does it make you feel and what did it make you think of. We were given a choice of poetic forms in which to write our poems.

I chose the Acrostic poem and was influenced by a long, trailing red wool dress made from falkland wool. It follows this post, feedback always welcome.

Carolina x