What Might Have Been

Yesterday, I should have been on holiday with my lovely friend Beverley Martinez instead it didn’t happen because of the state of my health. Since being diagnosed with osteoarthritis I always knew it was a degenerative illness and that it would get worse. I suppose I thought it iwouldn’t happen this soon. We should have been in a castle in Spain.

I had booked us an all round room in the castle so that we had lovely views on several sides. It was on the outskirts of a white village called Monda, high in the hills above Marbella. On the top floor was a spa, an expensive spa but what the hell we were only going for four days /five nights.

Maybe, we can do it next year. I am now waiting for the company to return my £200 deposit.

The symptoms I have been suffering from are the same ones I had when I had PMR. Polymialgia Reumatica affects, hips, knees, shoulders, upper back and neck. It causes bad headaches and joint pain sometimes excruciating and with muscles that go into spasm but don’t come out of spasm. It can affect eye sight. Treatment is usually with steroids which bring their own problems, like weight gain, moon face and excessive sweating. However, when the steroids kick in they make you feel really good but they are only a short term answer to PMR. My GP has started me on the steroids already and I have an appointment with the rheumatoid specialist on 17th October 2017 so I should get a diagnosis then.

Meanwhile, my appointment with the Nurse is on 5th October to help me deal with the on-set of diabetes type 2 which has shown up twice in raised sugar in my blood.

I had actually thought I would not get depression this year after my successful counselling with Oldham Bereavement Services. Ìt has returned: I feel it around the edges. Maybe it will not be as severe this year.

People so don’t understand the connection between arthritis and depression. It is hard enough dealing with the physical problems that arthritis and PMR bring without having the angst of mental illness too. The only good thing that ever comes from angst is good poetry!


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